Audio
Gossip
In the American television show "Hee Haw" (from 1969 to 1992 with country music and sketches) there was a humor part with the "four gossips" singing a little song whose lyrics went something like this: "Hear, hear .. .we're not the ones running around spreading rumours, because, because... we're not the ones to ride gossip, and never...never will we repeat ourselves, hee-haw and be ready, 'cause in a moment Do you know what's new?" Sounds fun right? There are different types of gossip. In fact, there is good gossip, bad gossip, and even gossip that is ugly.
Good gossip
Is there such a thing as good gossip? Actually, gossip has several meanings. One of them relates to the superficial exchange of news. This is just about keeping each other in the loop. "Maria dyed her hair again". "Hans got a new car". "Julia has had a baby". No one would take offense if such general information about themselves was disseminated. This form of conversation helps us build relationships and can increase understanding and trust among one another.
Bad gossip
Another meaning of gossip refers to the spreading of rumors, mostly of a sensitive or private nature. Are we that eager to be privy to someone's scandalous secrets? It doesn't matter if they are true or not. Such things need not even begin as half-truths, but little by little they are passed from close friends to other close friends, who in turn pass them on to their close friends, so that in the end the results are quite distorted, but all of them are believed. As the saying goes: "One likes to believe what is whispered to one behind the hand". This type of gossip can hurt to the point of wounding. Bad gossip is easily recognized by the fact that the conversation immediately stops when the subject enters the room. If you don't dare to say it directly to a person, then it's not worth repeating.
Ugly gossip
Ugly or malicious gossip is designed to damage a person's reputation. That goes far beyond passing on something heard. This is about lies that are supposed to cause pain and deep grief. They are easy to put into circulation via the Internet. Unfortunately, people believe the print more than what they whisper in their ears.
This kind of gossip seems quite impersonal until one becomes the target of such spite. Evil students use this tactic on other students they don't like. Cyberbullying drives many young people to suicide [suicide]. In America, this is even referred to as a bullycide. No wonder the Bible says, "A false man causes strife, and a slanderer divides friends" (Proverbs 1 Cor6,28). She also says, "The words of a slanderer are like tidbits, and are easily swallowed" (Proverbs 1 Cor8,8).
We should be clear about it: Gossip is like a small feather carried by the wind from one place to another. Take ten feathers and blow them up. Then try to catch all feathers again. That would be an impossible task. The gossip is similar. Once you have a gossip in the world, you can not bring it back because it is blown from one place to another.
Suggestions on how to handle it properly
- If there is a problem between you and someone else, sort it out. Do not tell anyone about it.
- Be objective when someone dumps his dissatisfaction with you. Remember that you only get to hear the view of this one person.
- If someone starts telling you rumors, you should change the subject. If a simple distraction doesn't work, say, "We're getting too negative about this conversation. Can't we talk about something else?” Or say, “I don't feel comfortable talking about them behind other people's backs.”
- Do not say anything about other people, which you would not say in their presence
- Ask yourself the following questions when talking about others:
Is it true (instead of embellished, twisted, made up)?
Is it helpful (useful, encouraging, comforting, healing)?
Is it inspiring (exhilarating, worth emulating)?
Is it necessary (as advice or warning)?
Is it friendly (instead of grumpy, mocking, uncontrollable)?
After hearing this from someone else and now sharing it with you, let's call what we've said a good gossip you can tell somebody who's trying to spread bad gossip on you - and that's how we prevent rumors from getting ugly ,
by Barbara Dahlgren
