Two banquets

The most common descriptions of heaven, sitting on a cloud, wearing a nightgown, and playing a harp have little to do with how the scriptures describe heaven. In contrast, the Bible describes heaven as a great festival, like a picture in super-large format. There is great tasting food and good wine in great company. It is the largest wedding reception of all time and celebrates the wedding of Christ with his church. Christianity believes in a God who is truly joyful and whose dearest wish is to celebrate with us forever. Each of us received a personal invitation to this festive banquet.

Read the words in the Gospel of Matthew: “The kingdom of heaven is like a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. He sent his servants to call the guests to the banquet, but they refused to come. Then he sent other servants and said, ‘Tell the guests, “See, I have prepared my banquet. My oxen and fattened cattle have been slaughtered, and everything is ready. Come to the wedding banquet!”’” (Mt 22,1-4).

Unfortunately, we are not at all sure whether we should accept the invitation. Our problem is that the ruler of this world, the devil, has also invited us to a banquet. It seems we are not wise enough to realize that the two feasts are actually very different. The fundamental difference is that while God wants to dine with us, the devil wants to devour us! Scripture makes this clear: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” (1. Petr 5,8).

Why is it so difficult?

I wonder why it is so difficult for mankind to choose between the feast of God and that of the devil, yes between God, our Creator, and Satan, who wants to destroy us. Maybe it's because we're not at all sure what kind of relationship we want in our own lives. Human relationships should be like some kind of feast. A way of nourishing and building one another. A process by which we live, grow, and mature while helping others live, grow, and mature as well. However, there can be a diabolical parody of it in which we act like cannibals to one another.

The Jewish writer Martin Buber said that there are two types of relationships. He describes one type as "I-You relationships" and the other as "I-It relationships". In I-you relationships, we treat each other as equals. We discover one another, learn from one another and respect one another as equals. In the I-id relationships, on the other hand, we tend to treat one another as unequal people. This is what we do when we view people only as service providers, sources of pleasure, or means to personal gain or purpose.

Self-exaltation

As I write these words, a man comes into my mind. Let's call him Hector, although that's not his real name. I am ashamed to say that Hector is a clergyman. When Hector walks into a room, he looks around for someone of importance. If a bishop is present, he will approach him directly and engage him in a conversation. If a mayor or other civil dignitary is present, this is also the case. The same goes for the rich businessman. Since I am not one, he seldom bothered to speak to me. It saddened me to see Hector wither over the years, both in terms of office and, I fear, in terms of his own soul. We need I-You relationships if we are to grow. I-id relationships are not the same at all. If we treat others as service providers, as career fodder, as stepping stones, we will suffer. Our life will be poorer and the world will be poorer too. I-you relationships are the stuff of heaven. This is not the case with I-It relationships.

How do you personally fare on the relationship scale? How do you treat the postman, the garbage man, the young saleswoman at the supermarket checkout, for example? How do you treat people you happen to meet at work, shopping, or in some social activity? When you drive, how do you treat pedestrians, cyclists or other drivers? How do you treat people who are lower in the social order than you are? How do you treat people in need? It is the hallmark of a really great person that he or she makes others feel great too, while those who are small and stunted in spirit tend to do the opposite.

A few years ago I had reason to write to Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I received a handwritten letter back from him that I still treasure to this day. This man is big enough for others to feel big too. One of the reasons for the amazing success of his Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa was the absolute respect he showed for everyone he met, even for those who did not seem to deserve it. He offered everyone an I-Thou relationship. In this letter he made me feel like I was equal - although I'm sure I am not. He only practiced for the heavenly feast, where everyone will participate in the feast and no one will be food for lions. Then how can we be sure that we will do the same?

Listen, respond and relate

First, we should listen to the invitation our Lord extends to us personally. We hear it in various Bible texts. One of the best-known texts comes from the Book of Revelation. It invites us to let Jesus into our lives: “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.” (Offb 3,20)This is an invitation to the heavenly feast.

Second, after hearing this invitation, we should respond to it. Because Jesus stands at the door of our heart, knocking and waiting. He doesn't kick the door in. We have to open it, invite him over the threshold, personally accept him at the table as our Redeemer, Savior, friend and brother, before he will enter our lives with his healing and transforming power.

It is also necessary that we begin to prepare for the heavenly feast. We do this by incorporating as many I-Thou relationships into our lives as possible, because the most important thing about the heavenly feast, as the Bible provides, is not the food or the wine, but the relationships. We can establish relationships in the most unexpected circumstances when we are ready for them.
Let me tell you a true story. Many years ago I went on vacation to Spain with a group of friends and acquaintances. One day we were walking outside of town and we were hopelessly lost. We ended up in a swampy area with no idea how to get back on dry land. Where was a way back to the city we came from. To make matters worse, it was evening and the daylight began to fade.

In this difficult situation, we became aware of a huge long-haired Spaniard who was moving towards us through the swamp. He was dark-skinned and bearded and wore unkempt clothes and big fishing pants. We called him over and asked him for help. To my astonishment, he picked me up, laid me over his shoulder, and carried me to the other side of the moor until he set me down on a solid path. He did the same for each of our groups and then showed us the way to go. I took out my wallet and offered him some bills. He didn't want any of them.

Instead, he took my hand and shook it. He also shook hands with everyone else in the group before leaving us safe and sound. I remember how embarrassed I was. I had offered him an I-It relationship and he had changed it with his "I-You" handshake.

We never saw him again, but on many occasions I have caught myself thinking about him. If I ever make it to the heavenly banquet, I wouldn't be surprised to find him anywhere among the guests. God bless him. He showed me the way - in more than one sense!

by Roy Lawrence