At the low point

607 at the lowest pointThe pastor of my congregation recently attended an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Not because he was addicted himself, but because he had heard about the success stories of those who had mastered the 12-step path to an addiction-free life. His visit came out of curiosity and a desire to create the same healing atmosphere in his own community.

Mark came to the meeting all by himself and didn't know what to expect there. When he entered, his presence was noted, but no one asked him any embarrassing questions. Instead, everyone warmly offered his hand in greeting or slapped him on the back encouragingly when he introduced himself to those present.

One of the participants received an award that evening for his nine months of abstinence, and when everyone had gathered on the podium to announce that they had given up alcohol, the audience burst into hurricane calls and deafening storms of applause. But then a middle-aged woman walked toward the podium with slow steps and a bowed head, eyes down. She said: “Today I should celebrate my 9 days of abstinence. But yesterday, darn it, I drank again ».

Mark is running hot and cold down his back, thinking what would happen now? How much disgrace and shame would accompany this apparent failure given the applause that has just faded away? However, there was no time for a frightening silence, because as soon as the last syllable had passed the woman's lips, the applause rose again, this time even more frenetically than before, filled with encouraging whistles and shouts and beneficial expressions of appreciation.

Mark was so overwhelmed that he had to leave the room. In the car he let his tears run free for an hour before he could drive home. He kept asking the question: «How can I convey this to my community? How can I create a place where confessions of inner disruption and humanity are received with as enthusiastic applause as triumph and success? » This is how the church should look!

Rather, why does the church resemble a place where we are dressed neatly and with happy facial expressions banish the dark side of our self from the public eye? Hoping that no one who knows our true self will corner us with sincere questions? Jesus said that the sick need a place where they can heal - but we have created a social club based on the fulfillment of certain admission criteria. Apparently, with the best will in the world, we cannot imagine being devastated at the same time and yet being absolutely lovable. Perhaps that is the secret of Alcoholics Anonymous. Each participant had once reached the low point and admits this and everyone also found a place where he is “loved” anyway, and accepted this place for himself.

It is different with many Christians. Somehow, many of us have come to believe that we are lovable without any blemish. We live our lives as best we can and let others and ourselves feel the knot when it inevitably leads to failures. Unfortunately, with this search for moral superiority, we can deal with mentally larger problems than with once at the bottom.

Brennan Manning writes: “Paradoxically, it is precisely our exaggerated moral standards and our pseudo-piety that force themselves like a wedge between God and us humans. It is not the prostitutes or the tax collectors who find it hardest to show repentance; it is precisely the zealous people who think that they do not have to show repentance. Jesus did not die at the hands of muggers, rapists, or thugs. It fell into the scrubbed clean hands of deeply religious people, the most respected members of society »(Abba's Child Abbas Kind, p. 80).

Are you a little shaken? In any case, I already had a hard time swallowing and must admit to myself, whether I like it or not, that Pharisee is also slumbering in me. Although I am outraged by their prejudiced attitudes that we encounter throughout the Gospel, I do the same by ignoring those who have struggled and defending the righteous. I am blinded by those who love God with my aversion to sin.

The disciples of Jesus were sinners. Many of them did have what is known as "a past". Jesus called her his brothers. Many also knew what it was like to hit rock bottom. And that's exactly where they came across Jesus.

I no longer want to stand above those who walk in the dark. Neither do I want to hold up useless phrases according to the motto "I told you right away", while I myself hide the dark sides of my existence. I want much more to be grasped by God and to face the prodigal son with open arms through Jesus Christ just as he did towards the obedient. He loves both equally. Alcoholics Anonymous has already understood this.

by Susan Reedy