Forgiveness: A vital key

376 forgiveness a vital keyIntending to offer her only the best, I took Tammy (my wife) to Burger King for lunch (Your Choice), then to Dairy Queen for dessert (Something different). You might think I should be embarrassed at the swanky use of company slogans, but as the McDonalds saying goes, "I love it." Now I must ask your forgiveness (and especially Tammy!) and put the silly joke aside. Forgiveness is a key in building and strengthening relationships that are enduring and revitalizing. This applies to relationships between leaders and employees, husbands and wives, and parents and children—human relationships of all kinds.

Forgiveness is also a vital component in the relationship God has with us. God, who is love, has covered mankind with a blanket of forgiveness which he has unconditionally extended over us (meaning that we receive his forgiveness undeservedly and without return). As we receive and live in forgiveness through the Holy Ghost, we come to better understand just how glorious and wonderful God's love as demonstrated by His forgiveness really is. Contemplating God's love for mankind, David wrote: "When I see the heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars which you have prepared, what is man that you remember him, and the son of man? that you take care of him?” (Psalm 8,4-5). I too can only be amazed when I consider: the great power and exuberant generosity of God in creating and maintaining our vast universe, which includes a world which, as he knew, the death of his son, instead of apparently insignificant and certainly sinful Creatures like you and me, would require.

In Galatians 2,20 Paul writes how glad he is that Jesus Christ, who loved us, gave himself up for us. Unfortunately, this glorious gospel truth is drowned out by the “noise” of our fast-moving world. If we are not careful, we can lose our attention to what the Scriptures have to tell us about God's love shown in abundant forgiveness. One of the most compelling lessons written in the Bible about God's forgiving love and God's grace is Jesus' parable of the prodigal son. Theologian Henry Nouwen said he learned a lot about it from studying Rembrandt's painting The Return of the Prodigal Son. It portrays the remorse of the wayward son, the unjustified severity of the angry brother's jealousy, and the inescapable loving forgiveness of the father who represents God.

Another profound example of God's forgiving love is the staged parable retold in the book of Hosea. What happened to Hosea in his life metaphorically demonstrates God's unconditional love and lavish forgiveness for often wayward Israel, and serves as a stunning demonstration of His forgiveness granted to all people. God commanded Hosea to marry a prostitute named Gomer. Some believe it meant a woman from the spiritually adulterous northern kingdom of Israel. In any case, it was not the marriage one would normally wish for, as Gomer repeatedly left Hosea to pursue a life of prostitution. At one point it is said that Hosea is believed to have bought Gomer back from slave traders, but she continued to run to her lovers who promised her material gains. "I will run after my lovers," she says, "who give me my bread and water, wool and flax, oil and drink" (Hosea 2,7). Despite all of Hosea's attempts to prevent her, she continued to seek sinful fellowship with others.

It touches very much how Hosea repeatedly took in his wayward wife - she continued to love and forgive her unconditionally. Maybe Gomer has occasionally tried to get things right, but if they did, their remorse was short-lived. Soon she fell back into her adulterous way of life to run after other lovers.

Hosea's loving and forgiving treatment of Gomer shows God's faithfulness to us even when we are unfaithful to him. This unconditional forgiveness does not depend on how we treat God, but on who God is. Like Gomer, we believe we can find peace by engaging in new forms of slavery; we reject God's love by trying to find our own way. At one point, Hosea must ransom Gomer with material possessions. God, who is love, paid a far greater ransom—he gave his beloved Son Jesus “for the ransom of all” (1. Timothy 2,6). God's unwavering, never-failing, never-ending love "endures all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1. Cor. 13,7). She also forgives everything, because love "does not impute evil" (1. Cor. 13,5).

Some who have read Hosea's story may argue that repeated forgiveness without remorse encourages the offender in his sins - it goes so far as to endorse the sinner's behavior. Others may claim that repeated forgiveness tempts the culprit to think he can handle everything he wants to do. However, to receive generous forgiveness necessarily requires the acknowledgment that one needs that forgiveness - and that is so, no matter how often forgiveness is granted. Anyone who claims to use God's forgiveness to justify repeated sinning will never receive forgiveness because they lack the insight that forgiveness is needed.

The exaggerated use of forgiveness suggests rejection rather than acceptance of God's grace. Such apprehension never leads to a joyful, reconciled relationship with God. Nevertheless, such rejection does not cause God to withdraw his offer of forgiveness. God offers forgiveness in Christ to all people, which is unconditional, regardless of who we are or what we do.

Those who have accepted God's unconditional grace (like the prodigal son) do not presume this forgiveness. Knowing that they are unconditionally forgiven, their response is not presumption or rejection, but rather relief and gratitude, which is expressed in the desire to reciprocate forgiveness with kindness and love. When we are forgiven, our minds are cleared of the blocks that quickly build walls between us, and we then experience the freedom to grow in our relationships with one another. The same is true when we unconditionally forgive those who have sinned against us.

Why should we desire to unconditionally forgive others who have wronged us? Because it corresponds to how God forgives us in Christ. Notice the statements of Paul:

But be kind and cordial to one another and forgive one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ (Ephesians 4,32).

So now attract as God's elect, as saints and loved ones, heartfelt mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience; and bear one another and forgive one another if any one complains against the other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so do you also forgive! But above everything draws on love, which is the bond of perfection (Colossians 3,12-14).

If we receive and enjoy the unconditional forgiveness that God grants us in Christ, then we can truly appreciate the blessing that comes from sharing the life-giving, relationship-building, unconditional forgiveness of others in the name of Christ.

In the joy of how much forgiveness has blessed my relationships.

Joseph Tkach

President
GRACE COMMUNION INTERNATIONAL


pdfForgiveness: A vital key to good relationships